Amazing Sunday, despite church

This Sunday, with the opportunity to lead worship in front of hundreds of people alongside a famous rock star, I thought it was going to be an awesome Sunday. The service would go off without a hitch because we planned it well and we were well rehearsed.

God did speak to me, but not because of our planning or playing. The speaker was talking about God always doing good to us. He said that the pain, suffering, illness, death and misfortunes we endure are given to us by God for a reason. We should thank God for these things because they are done by Him, and therefore they are good.

This brand of theodicy, which had been purely academic for me until now, sparked something at the core of my being and I was filled with a righteous anger. How can a person who claims to bring the Word of God to God's people so clearly misunderstand or misrepresent the goodness of God? Why would a God who created us into a perfect world and loves us with a perfect love will us to suffer in it?

I realized that many ears around the world were hearing a similar message and were forming an idea of God I knew was false. I wanted to have the opportunity to speak truth into their lives about my God in a moment when people are the most real, and hopefully the most receptive. That time is usually in the face of death. For I have found joy in my losses not because the God of the universe has redeemed them, but because He endured them alongside me.

So I am starting on the road to become a hospice chaplain. It is a good thing God's voice can still pierce through our planning and imperfection.