Big time small group

This morning our small group finished up in Romans 1. As if that was not challenging enough, we tackled the first verse of Romans 2, or rather it tackled us, kicked us in the teeth, and then proceeded to laugh about it... or something like that.

After Romans 2:1's admonition against judgment, we recalled the introduction of Bonhoeffer's Ethics, in which Bonhoeffer warns against judgment, both POSITIVE and negative. We all have understood from our youth that judging another person's sin is wrong, but judging in the positive is also wrong? According to Bonhoeffer, when we judge what is good from what is evil we make ourselves out to be gods. Instead, we should rely on YHWH alone for knowledge of good and evil (shout out to Eve and Adam).

We are no more able to tell that which is good than a baby is able to know which foods are healthy and which are not. We then asked the question, "Well, what are we supposed to think?" Having grown up understanding that certain actions are "good," and others "bad," we are used to making these judgments; they are conditioned parts of our interactions. The only answer we found is to respond with unadulterated praise to YHWH.

"Is homosexuality, as it is practiced today, wrong?"--Glory to God
"Is it right to ordain women in ministry?"--Glory to God
"Should Christians participate in politics?"--Glory to God

If we, in ALL things, give glory to YHWH, then we rely on His wisdom, His understanding, His perfect love and judgment.

How then do we read Scripture and understand perfectly what He has told us is good, and what He has told us is evil...? That is a HARD question.

Glory to God.

Amazing Sunday, despite church

This Sunday, with the opportunity to lead worship in front of hundreds of people alongside a famous rock star, I thought it was going to be an awesome Sunday. The service would go off without a hitch because we planned it well and we were well rehearsed.

God did speak to me, but not because of our planning or playing. The speaker was talking about God always doing good to us. He said that the pain, suffering, illness, death and misfortunes we endure are given to us by God for a reason. We should thank God for these things because they are done by Him, and therefore they are good.

This brand of theodicy, which had been purely academic for me until now, sparked something at the core of my being and I was filled with a righteous anger. How can a person who claims to bring the Word of God to God's people so clearly misunderstand or misrepresent the goodness of God? Why would a God who created us into a perfect world and loves us with a perfect love will us to suffer in it?

I realized that many ears around the world were hearing a similar message and were forming an idea of God I knew was false. I wanted to have the opportunity to speak truth into their lives about my God in a moment when people are the most real, and hopefully the most receptive. That time is usually in the face of death. For I have found joy in my losses not because the God of the universe has redeemed them, but because He endured them alongside me.

So I am starting on the road to become a hospice chaplain. It is a good thing God's voice can still pierce through our planning and imperfection.

Finding a church....

Dessa and I have been trying to find a church. This process is somewhat different than picking a gym or deciding which grocery store has the best selection. We always look for an element of "what we want" in a new church, much like the grocery store. We also like to hear "what they can do for us" as in a gym. But finding a church is more personal.

At first I wanted simply to find somewhere I could play. I like music, and I like playing music. Therefore I was willing to take any theology, any worship form, as long as I could be a part of the music. This has changed recently, as my theology has grown more developed. I find myself looking for a theology I can worship in, rather than a style of worship.

Having been inundated in Southern Baptist church life recently, I have found that lack of theological focus and emotion-based worship is welcoming at first, but as I have outgrown the milk of my youth, I am finding a love of liturgy and theology. The ability to openly discuss topics pertinent to the community of faith is paramount, as is the knowledge that disagreement does not automatically result in breaking of fellowship.

Now it is no longer important whether I can pluck my bass on Sunday mornings, but that I am fed, challenged, and encouraged in my faith and understanding. I hope I have now found that place, and I look forward to much thoughtful discussion and a lifetime of authentic, meaningful worship.